When The Only Winning Move, Is Not To Play...

In the modern world, suicide is often framed as a product of ‘mental illness'. It's true for some percentage of people with these thoughts. However, in these conversations, it is too easy to access a comfort in this 'mental illness' label, which carves a lot of meat out of these required conversations around suicide. Namely, how, sometimes, it can appear the only remaining move to make.

Let's start by addressing some discomfort; we will be talking about suicide, un-aliving, self-deletion, or whatever euphemism we want to use for the subject. I think there are so many names for suicide because it is an inherently uncomfortable conversation. Outside merely the act itself, it reveals a disturbing part of the human psyche; it can think itself into deletion. It is disturbing and uncomfortable that something shared between all people, the brain, can manoeuvre itself in such a way where it decides to not exist. I believe this is one of the core reasons why both this conversation around suicide is so uncomfortable, and why suicide has been communally discouraged. With judgement and punishment for those who act on, or even think about, suicide.

However, if you are someone who wrestles in the mud with these emotions and thoughts regularly, you quickly realise that this mentality shuts down a vast spectrum of thoughts on the experience. Although it is understandable to some extent, the very thought of topical suicide can be uncomfortable. We should become more comfortable in discussing the experiences of people who experience suicide. Like myself. Because I have discovered a wealth of thoughts specifically about my own suicidality.